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Quick update

Life has taken a huge turn in my eyes as old friends become new again. Some of these people I haven't seen since way back to the third grade and I'm glad to be catching up with them. There has been a whole bunch of petty, unneeded drama that I am not only tired of but I'm going to ignore completely. Sure things are changing but since change is inevitable might aswell jump on the banwagon and enjoy the ride.

As for far more recent news These past two nights I have had the time of my life and i had two experiences I would never forget. I went to a renegade in quit literally bumfuck nowhere just off the coast of the san fransisco bay where I had the most fun I've had in ages. I met so many new people and PLUR is now a huge motto taken to my life. As for today I spent most of it relaxing catching up with all the lost sleep I've had. My night ended with a trip to safeway with Angie where we met up with nick and had a pumala; which is recomended for everone to try. we then met up with Ken and had yet another pumala with him, sharing the great story of this grapefuit relative. After much time we ran into many people and had a twelve o'clock feast of five or so things of sushi, odwalla bars, apple juice and strawberrys. I couldn't ask for a better time.

Black Lung

Consists of the same thing day to day, week to week. Its getting really old really fast I'm not going to lie. Haven't been on live journal in a long while, and yet its the same as I left it as well. Wow life. Currently I'm sick ad fuck coughing up some narly shit and cant miss school anymore then I already have. good news is I get to shadow a surgeon who is hella bomb for my senior project. more bad news is life sucks total nuts for the time being XD one day it will all get better. just kinda running out of patience

Aug. 12th, 2008

I finally figured it all out. All I needed was time and the help of one person to indirectly change my views on all my current situations. The secret to staying happy is to just keep smiling. You can have almost everything stripped from you, but the one thing no one can even remove is your smile. So thats what I'm going to do.

Aug. 3rd, 2008

I'm getting better, much better. Section by section and piece by piece I've been putting myself back together. some things are still a little messed up but the majority of it as been reformed. I hope this sculpture of my life doesn't come out deformed

Jul. 31st, 2008

So I finally came to realize how at fault I really am. I'm over it now, over the moping, the sadness and all that broken glass. I decided that instead of looking at the mess on the ground, and rather then picking it up, I'm going to do everything I can to piece it all back together. sure its going to take a very long time and a lot of effort. but it will be worth it seeing how much it actually means to me. 

Jul. 29th, 2008

So, I have a lot figured out but more has been placed on my plate. I left my vice to sit down and figure out where exactly I'm going and how I'm going to get there. Currently I'm going no where and thats no big deal. the big deal is that I have lost a spark in my personality and I have come to notice it. I had a talk with someone and they brought it all to my attention. Just cause things take a turn I shouldn't let it effect who I really am. Nor should anyone for that matter. Once again I'm at a crossroad. 

Jul. 28th, 2008

I think I mess up yesterday Not as bad as it would seem but just enough for me to remember. I held hours of conversation without being there and yet the truth is all I spoke. I said a lot of things that I dont regret but would have rather not said and I hope I didn't make anything worse.

Jul. 24th, 2008

I decided I don't need to understand. I just need to know that not one person is alike. Or even better, like myself. I've put too much time and trust into most people without knowing what they'll do or how they'll do it. I find myself waiting for days to go by so I can start over either somewhere else or just internally. Then again, I haven't had that great of a couple weeks and I have accepted the fact that I'm still finding out who I am. So, lets see how long I actually think this.

Jul. 19th, 2008

Today has left its mark on me. It was left in a way that I dont understand at the moment but will in the future. People are changing around each other while I change with them and the cycle continues for the universe around us. Its when you notice change and can openly admit it to yourself that you understand what change actually is. Its normally classified as either good or bad. The reason for this though is the way that certain change is taken or viewed. I learned today that change is something thats neither good nor bad; just neutral. I am now aided in my hunt for a purpose more then just sticking to any norm I call my own. I'm one step closer to being that second guy as apposed to the first, only difference is I'm listening to the first guy who is myself. We'll see where the days take us and what happens throughout the hours and I bet it will all come out for the better. No regrets, just visions here.

Jul. 10th, 2008

I have come to the conclusion that not only do I have troubles typing without looking down at the keyboard, I have troubles taking my own advice. People often come up to me to get aid on some of their current problems that have much in common with my own. Constantly I help relieve a lot of them with blunt information and ways to get out and yet, I'm still in the place which they once were. now I am wondering though, who is the better person in these kinds of scenarios? The one that can sit down and give thoughts and opinions, or the one that will take that extra step to complete a goal aided by the mind that sat down with them. I should probably sit down and converse with myself for a while. maybe I can become both those people. neither one being better then the other but in a sense more equal then most. without the first guy there would be no drive and motivation for the second and without the second where would be the first? I guess I'm just going to stick to my norm and go with the flow again. Maybe this time someone can help me be the second guy, or will I always be the first?



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January 2009


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